is a proposal a proposal if there is no ring?

so i've officially been proposed to at least 3 times that i can think of off the top of my head. the most recent was on sunday by one of our regulars, doug. i was in charge of cooking breakfast sunday morning, i decided to make biscuits and gravy, a rarity at nativity house. apparently biscuits and gravy is all doug really needs in his life. as i was cleaning the kitchen after breakfast, he approached me and gave me an open ended invitation to get married, whenever i liked. another proposal came by way of note, with a circle yes or no at the top. the part that continues to surpise me: i'm fairly certain this man was serious, and equally as certain that he doesn't know that my first name is something other than 'shorty'. last was a letter i received from a guest who was in jail, listing all of the goals he planned to accomplish once he was released. number 11 on the list: marry sarah.

although marriage proposals are few and far between, here are some of laura and my favorite pick up lines to date:
damn girl, how'd you get in them jeans
if you take me home with you, i'll buy a pair of teeth
tell my wife i'll be home by 8, and i expect dinner to be ready (spoken to laura about me)

conversation: where have you been? 'in the hospital' why? 'mending a broken heart'

you like to go to cinema?
are you straight? what a waste!
i didn't know there were angels...and then there is you.
it's been about two weeks, we should probably renew our vows soon.

family is relative

on the street, family means everything. although you may be very close one day and screaming at each other the next, your family is the most important part of street life. i learned this very early while working at nativity house. while learning the importance of family, i also found that everyone appeared to be related. for a long time, i assumed most of the people just happened to be related to each other, until i learned about 'street' families. in street life culture your family are those who look out for you and take care of you and fight with you, just like most biological families. and in a culture where most people don't have any biological family left, or at least any family that will talk to them or support them, street families trump all other relationships. street brothers and sisters, moms and dads can come in all shapes, sizes, ages, backgrounds. i recently discovered a street parent need not be any older than their 'kids'; the parent has street experience and takes those new to the street under their wings and make them their 'children'. one can have any number of moms, dads, brothers, sisters, cousins. it's very confusing keeping all of the families straight, who belongs to who, especially when you throw biological family into the mix. conversations usually go something like this, "i need to pick up my mail, my brother's mail and my sister's mail" what's your name? "carrie wood". what's your brother's name? "john smith". and your sister's name? "joan". joan what? "joan wood, same last name as mine, duh!" well your brother's last name was different so i thought i'd ask. "well that's because john is my street brother, and joan is my sister" oh, for some reason i got confused, my mistake.

while being a small part of the street culture, i have gained many family members myself. people that look out for me, which can be a blessing and a curse. living in the neighborhood i do, it's nice to have people looking out for me (i live in the 'hood and most of my guests know where i live and cringe). i see my guests all of the time on my days off and the shelter and services they use are located on the blocks more or less directly surrounding my house. and at work there are always a group of people checking in with me. one man, we'll call him mark, is always checking up with me. "people treating you right here?" oh yeah. "seriously, you let me know if anyone tries anything" i know you're there for me. "no, if ANYONE EVER..." i know mark... "you just call ol' mark.." i know, and i appreciate that so much, but really, everything and everyone has been great. "well...okay, BUT you let me know if..." i know, thanks mark. the slightly scary and worrysome part about this 'protection' is that it's completely real. i know and have been told, that if anything were to happen to me, people are going to lose body parts. and my 'family' are completely serious. my family is made up of criminals, 'collectors' (people who collect debts for loan sharks or drug dealers, they break bones), drug dealers, drug users, murders, the gamut of scary sounding folks.

most recently, i have been deemed the daughter of one man in particular. our friendship started with him hitting on me and my roommate, claiming he had a church and marriage license on hold awaiting one of our arrivals. later, when he found out our ages, he said he would no longer try to marry us, but would be our dad. he said he had promised his daughter, who if she had not been murdered would be 30-something, that he would never make a pass at a woman younger than her. since then this man is always checking up on us, giving us advice and scolding us for hanging out with 'these hoodlums' outside of work. i recently learned that he is on the top of the 'housing first' list and will soon be receiving housing.